The Official Home of Mediocre Screenwriter Geoff LaTulippe

UPDATE (7/21/14): Someone actually emailed to ask me, “What’s with all the rules?” Don’t worry about it. Maybe I’ll explain the rules later. Maybe I won’t. This is my thing and there are rules. Maybe there’s a reason. Maybe I’m just fucking with you. Who knows. Do I even know? Who knows? Worry about your script. That’s the point here. Luckily, like 90% of you are following said rules. The ones who are not are actually making this a bit easier on me because I can just delete the entries, which leaves me feeling less overwhelmed by the crazy – and yet humbling and majestic – response so far. Bottom line: you guys are awesome, and I’m glad this has motivated ANY of you even a little bit. That, in turn, motivates me. A couple of other things:

1. Let’s not refer to this as a “contest”. I think that cheapens the whole spirit of the thing in some way. Let’s just call it an experiment. Or better yet, a challenge. That feels a little more…honest to me. Also, if you’re on Twitter, Twitter at me about it with the simple hashtag #SixWeekSpec. If you have questions or concerns or just want to talk about your script boner, I’ll be around.

2. If one more of you calls me “Mr. LaTulippe” I will revolt and it will not be pretty. “Geoff” works just fine, as that’s my name. I will tell you why this bothers me: we’re all writers here. I’m not a professor or some figure of authority. I’m just here to help

Also it just makes me feel old. I’m old enough. Please don’t pile on.

3. I cannot enough thank Scott at Go Into the Story for pimping us out. As he mentions in his post, he’s done something similar to this in the past, and with terrific result. I hope to carry a similar torch even within the same hemisphere as he did with The Quest.

4. Those of you that have not submitted yet: you have your work cut out for you. There have been some great entries and a couple that it would surprise me to not find “in” at the end of the day. Take your game and make it go up steps.

UPDATE (7/18/14): A couple people have emailed to ask if, were they not to be picked, they should still write along with the 11 of us here. Um, FUCK yes? That’s the whole point of this! I’m really only picking ten writers to highlight because I feel like that’s the max I can coordinate and still be somewhat helpful to them in the end. But this little experiment is for EVERYONE. And yes, I definitely want emails and Twitters and whatnot letting me know how you’re progressing. If you end your own process by uploading your script to the Black List, I’ll even pimp it out for you. Perhaps I was a little unclear in just focusing on the Selected Ten in my initial post, so let me be *very* clear now: if you want to be a screenwriter, I want you writing this September. No excuses.

UPDATE (7/18/14): In come the submissions! Really excited to see this! However, I must say, you guys lack reading comprehension: I’ve had to delete several entries already just because a handful of you didn’t pay attention to detail to the point where you didn’t even get past the subject line of the email. Tsk, tsk, tsky tsky-tsk tsk tsk. Re-read the rules and resubmit. I’ve emailed to remind a few of you but based on the volume of submissions I’ve seen already there’s zero chance I bother with that for very long. Give yourself a shot, damnit.

UPDATE (7/18/14): Holy shit, they’ve already started rolling in. Damn, you guys. Anyway, I probably should have said this before, even though it’s obvious, but: somewhere on your submission, make sure you’ve left your full name and email address. Muchas!

UPDATE (7/17/14): Yes, writing teams are definitely allowed. Sorry if there was any confusion about that.

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HERE ARE ALL THE GORY DETAILS:

Starting 1 September 2014 – professional duties allowing, which I’ll qualify in a moment – I’m going to begin writing the first draft of a brand new spec screenplay. I’m giving myself six weeks to complete it. I want you to come along with me on the journey. But not just in the passive way that you might be thinking. Here’s the deal:

I want you to start a your own brand new spec too. The one you’ve always wanted to dive into but never did. The one that’s kept you up nights tossing around scenes and dialogue but that you never had the drive to actually crack. The one that itches and burns and crackles, but life has kept you away from. Actually, in that last instance you might have some bacterial issue rather than a creative one. Maybe check with a doctor and get yourself a Z-Pak. If ANY of those are the case, and you have your first masterwork banging around inside you like Dennis Quaid (INNERSPACE reference!), the last quarter of this year is going to be the absolute best time to kick your own ass into gear. And you know why?

Because Franklin Leonard and the impossibly awesome people at The Black List have been kind enough to offer something at the end of this rainbow that you cannot afford to pass up. If you have the balls to find out whether or not you have any shot whatsoever as a screenwriter, that is.

It’s going to work like this:

THE GOAL

1. On 18 July 2014, the email address you can find on the main page of this blog will be open for submissions. You will have ONE MONTH (that is, until 18 August 2014, for those of you who are idiots) to send me a one-page declaration of why you want to write the FEATURE-LENGTH (MINIMUM: 90 pages) script you are going to write. Your only job is to convince me as that you’re capable of great writing and that you’re going to finish this fucking thing in six weeks. That’s it.

2. I will pick ten of these submissions.

3. The Selected Ten will be announced on 20 August 2014.

4. The Selected Ten will start their scripts on 1 September 2014.

5. Once per week, the Selected Ten will submit a reaction to the last seven days of writing – their successes, their failures, their frustrations, their unfettered rejection of any higher power(s). These reactions will be shared on my blog, along with my own.

6. On 15 October 2014, the scripts must be finished, no questions asked, no exceptions whatsoever. You must literally write FADE OUT and be done with it. And when I say you must “literally” write FADE OUT, I’m not misusing the word “literally”. Those two words literally have to appear at the end of your script.

THE RESULT

If all of these steps are completed according to the rules of this little game (which I will lay out in full below) then each of the Selected Ten will be given TWO months of script hosting on and FOUR evaluations from The Black List – free of charge, courtesy of the wonderful people at said Black List. Because you’ll have earned it. This means that, by 15 December 2014 at the latest, you will have not only completed the first draft of a screenplay but you will have been provided with four industry-level evaluations of your work at the cost of $0 to you. So if you play your cards right, you could have a nicely-polished second draft of your script to foist upon the world in any way you see fit by New Year’s Day 2015. Are you excited? I’m excited.

It is of UTMOST importance that you read ALL of the following if you’re up to the challenge of a submission:

THE RULES

FIRST AND FOREMOST

This is an opportunity for NEW writers. That is to say: if you have ever previously been employed as a screenwriter, you are not eligible. For a studio, for a production company, for a producer, in film, in television, with a coat, in a boat, whatever. If you’ve been paid to write a screenplay, you’re out. And I will be verifying this independently.

SUBMISSIONS

1. All submissions must be in the form of a Microsoft Word document, 12 point font size, whichever font you like best. There will be no exceptions. Don’t have Word? Find someone who does. Can’t be that difficult.

2. All submissions must be limited to one page. No exceptions. If your submission is even one single character over a page, it will be deleted unread. This page should include both your full name and email address.

3. All submissions must be sent to the provided email address with the subject line “Why I’m Going to Write This Script Now”. Exactly like that, quotations and capitalization included. No exceptions. If your subject line does not read exactly as such, your email will be deleted unread.

4. Your submission will not contain ANYTHING related to the content of the script you are going to write outside of its chosen genre. I don’t want to know anything else. I do not care. I only care WHY you want to write it. If your submission contains any of the following, it will be deleted immediately and dismissed: the script’s title, logline, or any other identifying information whatsoever; discussion of any characters or locations; examples of any dialogue or voiceover; anything pertaining to details of the script that are not the script’s genre. To make it perfectly clear: YOU ARE NOT SUBMITTING AN IDEA FOR A SCRIPT TO ME. You are submitting an explanation of why you want to write it. Is that limiting? Absolutely. Be creative. That’s the point. To that effect, anything that I think violates this accord will be cause for immediate deletion and dismissal of your submission.

5. The cut-off for submissions is Midnight 18 August 2014 Pacific. No exceptions. Anything received even a second later will be deleted unread.

6. The Selected Ten will be determined by me and only by me and announced on 20 August 2014. No explanations will be given. No exceptions. If you don’t hear from me, you aren’t one of the Selected Ten. No I will not tell you why. It will just have to be left an unanswered question that will haunt you the rest of your life.

WRITING

1. The Selected Ten may officially start their FEATURE LENGTH (MIN: 90 pages) scripts on 1 September 2014. This date shall be observed on the Honor System. I’m not your fucking mother. I will trust you to be honorable. Any time prior to this date shall be used for any necessary prewriting or for general pissing around.

2. The script ABSOLUTELY CANNOT have been previously completed. It is encouraged that you start a completely new script. It is DISCOURAGED that you throw out and start over on a previously uncompleted script; however, it will be allowed, begrudgingly. These rules shall be observed on the Honor System. However, it should be noted: if a script is uploaded to the Black List that has previously, IN ANY FORM, been uploaded to the site, that writer shall have their script deleted from the site and their allowances therein canceled. Also, I will shame the motherfucking shit out of you on Twitter. Relentlessly and with purposeful malice. This is to be a fun and communal experience. Don’t be a dick. You MAY adapt your own previously completed short script into a feature-length script. YOU MAY NOT adapt any pre-existing material that you do not personally own or have the rights to. I feel like I shouldn’t have to say that but some of you are perpetually stupid.

3. Each of the Selected Ten will submit to me, every Sunday, a two-paragraph summary of their week. As few story details of the script should be mentioned as possible; these updates are to give other writers a look into your process, not to describe your story. Paragraphs need not be submitted in Word, just over email. I’m not a MONSTER.

4. The finished first draft of your script – FADE OUT BEING THE LAST THING TO APPEAR ON THE LAST PAGE, SIGNALING COMPLETION – shall be uploaded to The Black List ABSOLUTELY NO LATER THAN 11:59PM Pacific Time on 15 October 2014. No exceptions. That means that if you upload your script at exactly Midnight 16 October 2015 Pacific Time, you are fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucked and all this will have been basically for naught. Them’s the rules. This really shouldn’t be a problem. If you complete your script early and upload it BEFORE the 15 October deadline, good for you! However, your two months/four evaluations package will start on YOUR DATE OF SUBMISSION, not 15 October.

THE REST

That’s it. That’s the whole kit and caboodle for you. A couple more things for me:

1. At no time ever – be it before, during or after the dates laid out in previous sections – will I ever be reading, analyzing or commenting on individual scripts. That is not my job here, nor is it my intent. So don’t ask. If you do ask, I will fire rockets at someone you love.

2. There is a chance that unforeseen professional writing obligations may cause me to be unable to complete and/or even start my own spec script simultaneously to the Selected Ten. However, should such a situation occur, at no point will anything be altered negatively for the Selected Ten. You will write your weekly reactions and finish your scripts by the said dates and be provided your Black List entitlements.

3. I reserve the right to extended deadlines and make changes to rules at any point as I see fit. In that way, I’m sort of like God.

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And that’s about it. I good you bid luck. Now go ready those submissions!!!!

So listen, I’m a pretty important guy, and thus I today spent some time talking to students of my alma mater, THE James Madison University, who are here for the Summer-long JMU in LA program. And naturally everyone who runs the program is all like, “Hey Geoff, you’re an award-wishing mediocre semi-talent who’ll probably wash out of the system in a year or two. Come tell these children about where to live in Los Angeles when you’re poor, since you were there once and are obviously headed back on a flaming helltrain.”

It would be helpful if the people who run the program were a little less…accurate.

But then I mentioned this Guide on Twitter, and a bunch of people for some reason think I’m trustworthy enough to be helpful in this realm (I’m not), so here is my overly-wordy attempt at being less-than-helpful. But first, a couple of ground rules:

1. This is my opinion and my opinion only. Like, just imagine every sentence ends with, “…in my opinion.” Take it all with a grain of salt. Also, if you’re an adult, you should already know that there are exceptions to every rule. THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT: I do NOT need to know about these exceptions. I already assume they exist, just like you should. So if something about this hurts your feelings…well, first of all, go see a therapist, but also I very totally don’t care.

2. This entire thing is based on a stock lifestyle: you’re recentlyish out of college, you want to work in the film/TV industry, you can find a job in which you  make like $30K a year (give or take), you don’t mind living with roommates, you’re not a cunt, etc. If you make more money you’ll have more options and can adjust accordingly; if you make less you’ll have fewer options and will have to adjust accordingly. You should take that into account. This is one-sized fits most. It’s also streamlined to make it as easy as possible for you take an informed decision without getting overwhelmed.

SIDENOTE: I’m also assuming you have a car. If you don’t, learn about buses.

3. I’m starting to think there were only two ground rules, really. But there are two sentences here now anyway.

OK, we good with all of that? Good. Let’s get started.

IN GENERAL 

If you’re not going to live in the Valley, you’re going to want to stay West of Downtown and north of Venice Blvd (though the neighborhoods right around Venice Blvd are some of the best, which I’ll get to in a second). Anything South tends to get murdery real fast. Same with East. If you can stay West of Highland, do so. Downtown is fun to visit but super overpriced and near lots of genuinely dangerous neighborhoods. You don’t want to live in a fucking loft anyway. It’s nowhere near as cool as it sounds.

It will be very tempting to move into Hollywood. It’s cheap, there’s a lot of shit around, and for fuck’s sake, it’s HOLLYWOOD. I get it. My advice, however, is this: stay out. You will TOTALLY be fine if you choose to live there (or can’t avoid it), but there are better neighborhoods in the same price range that are less of a 24-hour freak show caked in both literal filth and metafilth. I would also avoid the Christ out of North Hollywood, which has turned into an absolute shitshow the past five or so years.

IN THE VALLEY

Most of the neighborhoods are pretty safe here and you can definitely find affordable accommodations. I have many friends who live in the Valley. I like it FAR less than the Westside, but that’s just a personal thing. Just know that you’ll get annoyed having to go over the hill all the time for shit your cool friends do. Again, stay out of North Hollywood, but everything else is pretty decent – Studio City, Universal City, Van Nuys, Tarzana, Sherman Oaks, Valley Village, Toluca Lake…all pretty good. Burbank and Encino are cool too, but they’re a little far out. Unless you work at Disney or WB you will want to kill yourself being out that far. Same for Glendale. Don’t even bother with Glendale. They have precious few glens and not a single fucking dale. It’s a den of lies.

ON THE WESTSIDE

Everyone wants to live in West Hollywood. I quite adore it, but it’s becoming less and less cost-effective. Still, you can find some great places there and the neighborhood is terrific if you’re OK living in a brightly-colored rave. You will always have something to do. If you want to hang out around UCLA kids, Brentwood and Westwood are great, but astronomically overpriced. Beverly Hills is also overpriced, but just outside of Beverly Hills you’re technically in LA City where there are some great and affordable neighborhoods from Sunset all the way down to Venice between Highland and Beverly Glen. Sometimes they make up unofficial names for these neighborhoods, but I don’t know what any of them are, so you have those parameters to focus on instead.

I also highly, highly, highly recommend Culver City/Palms. Dirt cheap rent, lots of places to eat and drink, and everyone is pretty relaxed. Plus you’re close to Sony if that’s helpful. Almost moved there a couple years ago myself. Near that is a section of town generally referred to as “West LA” – basically from the 405 to Santa Monica. Same deal with that as Culver City. I love these areas.

The area that compromises Los Feliz, Silver Lake and Eagle Rock…it’s basically Brooklyn in LA: smarmy hipsters and restaurants and bars that take themselves WAY too fucking seriously. I HATE HATE HATE this part of town, and to boot it’s also all criminally overpriced. But some people absolutely LOVE it. If you’re into dudes in fedoras and other types of the worst people in the world, go for it. I will never visit you and will forget your name.

ORANGE COUNTY

Just don’t.

THE BEACHES 

Santa Monica is great in pockets but it’s SUPER expensive. Venice has some cool up and coming-type stuff as far as places to hang out and things to do, but it’s still dirty hippies and crazy people most of the time. And it’s overpriced. And it occasionally has a really random gang problem. That makes it sound less safe than it is, but it’s fine. However, I’m a much bigger fan of Marina del Rey and Playa del Rey. Is it Rey or Ray? I’m too lazy to Google it right now.

Both Hermosa and Redondo Beaches are a *little* less expensive than Santa Monica and super awesome and very safe. They’re also catastrophically far from everything relevant except some of Marvel.

You cannot afford Malibu. If you can, you have no business reading my blog.

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I’m sure I left a ton of stuff out on both accidental and purposeful levels, but this should be a solid intro to the areas of town you’ll want to be most familiar with first. If you need answers to more specific questions, leave comments and I’ll do my damndest to answer them. Also, if you don’t feel like reading any of the above, just consult this handy visual aid and you’ll be fine. It’s accurate as shit (thanks, Sarah Sprague).

Just kidding, I’m not going to do that.

Really this is just a recommendation that you stay away from the Internet forever, abstain from procreating, and hell, just never even talk to anyone again. Find a cave to curl up and languish in far away from the productive members of society, because you are slowing shit the fuck down. Dealing with your culture of impotently manufactured faux-crusading has become a bore.

Go away forever.  Thanks!

Your pal,

Geoff